How to choose when there are only 2 pathways & both lead to dead ends..?

two pathways
how to choose ??

"RIGHT
leads to sadness,
suffering inside,
hurting outside,
bleeding in heart,
but at least
everyone is with u...


LEFT
leads to a tough way,
sometimes happy,
sometimes sad,
have to act;
have to hide,
but at least
someone is with u..."

whichever path i choose
i jz hope dat
it's WORTH...
hope i will never regret...

my goal, my ideal, my aspiration

when i was 8
i was asked about my ambition
n my answer for dat question is a DOCTOR...
( i dono y, but most probably is because dat is the only career dat i ever heard b4 dat time ) 


when i was 12
i was asked again for the same thing
n my answer dat time is a SCIENTIST
( hmmmm... i think it's because i like to messing things up n mixing things up n i really like Thomas Edison )


when i was 15
again the question had been asked
n i would like to say " i jz cant make up my mind "
n actually i was wishing dat i could don pick one
coz i know it will be stress n pressure


finally i reached 17
n now i was to choose wisely n think wisely
i know it's not the time to play anymore
i have to pick a road, a way, a journey
it's a hard decision...


too bad
i got too many interests
too many requests
examples


earn MORE, work LESS
rest MORE, do LESS
play MORE, sit LESS
out MORE, office LESS
freedom MORE, stress LESS


huhuuu...
sounds nice
& sounds IMPOSSIBLE
anyway
i still have to choose...


wif my previous result all along dis
i scored better in math n physics
compared to other subjects
i m not sure if there's any interest toward those subjects,
but they're my ability,
so i thinking of doin something related to dat...


on the other hand,
i like creating thingy
anything it is
as long as i like it
but i realize dat it will not be a smooth way for a designer
besides
it's not recommended by my parents,
somehow
i still wish to go on my artistic way...
* ( at least i think i m artistic myself )


as parents,
of coz they wish their children can be the best
examples
mostly parents would like their son/daughter to be
a doctor
a lawyer
or maybe an engineer....
1 word to describe - "Professional"


in this condition,
i came out wif a such good ambition, such perfect aspiration ...
i wish to be AN ARCHITECT !!


y architect?
" easy..... 
physics + math + art + professional = Architect "
wat a nice perfect combination / calculation / solution....


honestly
i m not sure if there's the correct way dat i had chosen
coz this job is obviously...
NOT work less
NOT do less
NOT sit less
NOT office less
NOT stress less **


no matter wat
i still have to carry on
i have to grow up n face the facts...
"nothing is perfect"
i have to understand dis phrase
so dat i can proceed to the next stage - the "mature" stage ...
well then
i have to ignore my 5 LESS principles
n grow up...


finally
SPM is over
a new life is coming ahead
a UNIVERSITY life...
glad dat i can skip form6
n architecture will be best mates since dat


very soon...
"my UNIVERSITY life"
had changed to
"my ARCHITECTURE life"
n from dat,
it changed to
"my ARCHI-TORTURE life"
[ quote from Wiiz Miin, 2010 ]

yes!!
it takes all my sweetdreams away everynite
coz i never get a soundly sleep...
it takes all my money away ( act is my parents' )
coz most of it i had spent it on site visit!!


however,
I DO NOT REGRET!!
I LOVE THIS COURSE SO MUCH!!


i never get a soundly sleep,
because i dream of the construction site which is not "soundly"...
i used up lots of money,
but i know i will get it back when i start work,
n it's worth to "buy" knowledges...


i know i will not regret
( i m not sure about the future,
coz no one knows wat will happen on the next day,
but i won regret at least for now )


"I LOVE MY COURSE
I LOVE MY ASSIGNMENTS
I LOVE MY COURSE MATES"
& dat is y i m here
studying Architectural Technology...


To be an Architect,
is my goal, my ideal, my aspiration...
Future architect rocksss !!!
XOXO

TIME can't dissolve everything

It's been almost a year
but it still can't get away from my mind....

today
there's an incident happened which remind me of my past
my FAILURE past...

argghhh..!!!
i don like blogging much anyway,
but i think it's the only way i can release myself of the cage here
( "a break" i mean )

ok
back to the topic...

It's happened when i m in secondary sku
started since f4 girl guide AGM...
dat day
i was contradictory
i dono whether i should happy or not
happy, coz i was given the post UNIT LEADER as honour
worry, coz i know it will be a hard way for me...

after dat
i tried my best in everything in guide
i never hope to get anything back for dat
it's a scarification
sacrifice time, studies, effort......everything
for guide...
i willing to do dat
i m responsible to do dat.......

i admit!!
i m NOT a decisive leader ( towards some "specific" prob )
i m NOT a tough leader ( may cry behind coz of some "specific" frenz )
but
i have my own reason,
own limited power,
own thinking,
own decision too.

to be frank,
i thought before
[ letting u resign is a good solution for this ]
but i know
it's cruel n unfair for u...
i felt sorry to u
but i really can't thought of other better complete solution
i know
i have to be firm
n be "bad" in dat case...
but me too
have to be fair to everyone,
have to care about everyone.
i m wrong,
i thought time can solve everthing...
but it's NOT

my dear ASST(1),
i know wat u r thinking dat time
u feel dat...
u stand alone,
no one really knows about u in guide,
no one is helping u,
no one knows u sacrificed a lot...
but actually IT'S NOT...
i m always biased toward u
( even the others can feel dat )
i always stand on ur side
( until the others think dat i m bias )
i know how much u sacrifice
( coz i m jz the same )
honestly,
u r the only one can understand me well in guide,
n also the most helpful wan...
but sometimes i have to think about the others as well
i hope u can understand...


n one more thing,
do u know y the "others" will stand together?
do u know y u r not the leader for dat time?


it's really time for u to reflect urself (dat time i mean )
perhaps i was wrong to not to critic u dat time...
of coz i m not meaning dat i m the correct wan n the others has no guilt
but as a frenz/ex-leader
i hope u can understand urself more...


lastly
i really hope dat u can think of my side...
since AUL can have such stress,
y not the UL?
u r not the only one who faced "obstacles"
u r not the only one who r sacrificed...




anyway,
i owe u an apologizes,
" I'M SORRY... :(
i'm sorry to all the ajk dat time "
i dare not require forgiveness from u all
but i hope u all can "really" understand me...
i maybe looks joyful all the time
but wat u saw is not necessary real...

btw,

it's been a past

& i had learnt from the past, 

i hope u all too...

"failure is the mother of success"

i don wan to fail another time!! ( dis is not related to KHGG )

* mayb someone will shock dat i ll write a blog,

but i think IT'S A MUST from now...

the road in front of me is getting dark,

it's hard to walk without "torchlight"... :)